Distant Competitions?

Is that even possible?

Let me do some vague summaries first of all, so you won't get confused.

Back in grade 7 I used to be "friends" with this bitch. She spread a lot of rumors behind my back and when I confronted her about it, she just laughed it off and was like, "it's true though, isn't it?"

You have no idea how mad I was. She is the only person besides my dad that I can truly find something in them to hate them for. She also did a lot of other stuff but it's not important. Pre-teen crushes, kay?

Well a few days ago I heard about her again from my friend. Apparently she was pregnant at 15 and had a baby.

Now, my point isn't this so I won't say anything about her choice.

I saw some pictures of her and...well she used to be really fat. I think she lost some weight now which really clicked a button in me. I can't really explain it...but whenever I know someone in real life, and they've lost some weight...even though I don't associate with them anymore...I get extremely competitive.

So it put me in this...well, competitive mood. Attitude. Whatever you call it.

I have the urges to become thinner than her. Better than her. I want to make her jealous, which is pretty ridiculous considering that I've moved and she has no idea where I am. She probably doesn't even remember me. Haven't seen her for 4 years. Isn't this just stupid? Well, it's not stopping me from my craziness.

Also, I didn't tell you about why I haven't been exercising. The lady said I wasn't supposed to after my "dental surgery (wisdom teeth pulled out)" so I've been listening. It's almost a week now so I think it's all right if I do some hardcore exercises, right? I'm also taking some pills for it like I mentioned in my last post so I don't know if that's going to affect me in any way...but I'm determined to shed my fat before Xmas. It's my next goal.

I want to reach my goal weight before that. I want to be in the double digits. Preferably 98 lbs.