Well, you know it. Today's boxing day.
On Christmas, I couldn't feel the spirit. I couldn't feel the happiness. Instead, I just felt...I don't know how to describe it, but...sort of sad.
The problem is I don't even know what I was moping around for.
Is it because of the people around me? My own failures? My weight? My fat?
What is it?
I don't know anymore. I seem to be very happy with my friends, but when I get home the sad feeling starts to sink in again. My failures flying around in my face.
It's true that if you want something, you'd try very hard to get it. You'd do anything to get it.
Maybe I don't want to become thin?
Haha, what nonsense am I blabbering about? I honestly can't even plot out my wants.
I obviously haven't been trying my hardest. I haven't been restricting one bit. I just want to be one of those girls who eat whatever and they're still thin and beautiful. I hate this. I just want to eat properly. I hate suffering like this.
But when I try to, I just couldn't really bring myself to do it. I'm impatient. I don't want to lose weight slowly. I want to become thin immediately!
So it's a never ending cycle. Always.
In conclusion to my depressing rant, I had a somewhat fun week. Christmas Eve was great. Christmas? Not so much. Today? I'm procrastinating over work. Yes, work. I have to do work on my break.
that part about some girls who can eat everything and still be thin is so well-known to me..i keep thinking about that all the time. Don't we all deserve to be thin? or just some and the others just need to deal with envy and with desire to be thin?
ReplyDeletewell who knows^^
take care!!
xxxx